Your Ego Vs. Your Soul: Guest Post

I am thrilled to have my first guest post on the blog! Amanda’s post below is so relevant to some realizations I’ve been experiencing lately so it is such a gift to have her offer her words to all of you!

I am an avid reader of anything and everything I can get my hands on, but in the last year or so – pretty much since I decided to quit my “normal” job and become an entrepreneur – I’ve landed in the world of self-improvement books. As I surrounded myself with successful people that were living a lifestyle comparable to my goals, I was inundated with motivational and inspirational suggestions, including reading empowering, knowledge-inducing books.

I’ll be honest. I’m an intellectual, hands-on evidence-backed person. I had a hard time buying into the “woo woo” positive thinking, the Universe sends you what you put out, Law of Attraction stuff they were dishing out. But the more I immersed myself in those who were successful, the more I started to wonder if there was something to what they were saying, so I started trying to live that way myself.

Amazingly, I quickly realized that yes, there was something to this motivational mumbo jumbo. Whether it was seriously the Universe, attraction laws, or whatever, the fact was the more I tried to plan ahead, be optimistic, get up and show up, and look for the good in the world, the better I felt. There really is something to be said for working towards a goal in life rather than just existing day to day.

Along this journey, I ran into a book that truly helped me understand and put a lot of my daily life into perspective. A good friend of mine twisted my arm and made me read “Big Magic” by Elizabeth Gilbert. Actually, she made me download the audio book and LISTEN to it. Listening, rather than reading, was very important, she said. And, as she had never been wrong in giving me advice so far, even when I didn’t want to hear it, I did as she instructed.

The book was really interesting to me, as a writer, and I totally understood why she said listen, and I suggest if you go buy the book you get the audio version, too. However, between all of her wonderful stories and advice, the part that stands out the most was when she talked about your ego versus your soul. I needed to hear it and I needed her to shout it, so I listened to it over and over, louder and louder each time.

You see, I’ve got a mighty big ego that I didn’t know I had. I thought I was humble and all that, but it turns out I’ve got a lot of work to do.

Apparently, it’s your ego that causes all of the stresses in your life. Who knew? Before you shake your head and disagree with me, hear me out.

  • You post on social media and no one, or just a few people, respond. You’re bummed, sad, depressed, thinking you are no good at what you’re doing. You start to wonder if you should just give up and go do something else. Because your ego was hurt. Check. That’s me.
  • Someone disagrees with you, on whatever topic and for whatever reason, and you want to lash out and tell them they are wrong and you are right. It’s imperative that they understand why they are so wrong – it could even change the world! But that’s just your ego talking – your ego saying that what you have to say might make a difference, and when they don’t listen, it’s your ego feeling the strain, and when they do listen, it’s your ego that feels the buzz and blows up like a balloon. Check. Totally me.
  • Your boss, spouse, relative, friend, or anyone gives you constructive criticism and you defend your reason for why you did what you did instead of listening to their critique, absorbing it, thanking them for their thoughts, and then reflecting yourself later. Your ego was hurt because someone criticized you. Check. How can they criticize me when I work so hard to be the best version of me in the first place?

Do any of these situations sound familiar? They did to me, too.

Now put them in another perspective. Did they hurt your soul?

Your soul doesn’t care about what other people think about you. Your soul isn’t going to be injured if someone criticizes you or disagrees with you. Your soul doesn’t care if you get likes and follows on social media. Your soul simply focuses on right and wrong – more specifically, what YOU are doing that is right or wrong.

And when you focus on what your SOUL wants, you can block out all of the ego-draining things in life. There’s a reason that the good things are “soul deep,” “soul-pleasing,” and “happy to the soul.” When your soul is content, things are right in your world. All of those ego-damaging words and actions from other people simply roll off of your shoulder.

Bruised egos result in so much friction in the world. Wars have been started because of damaged egos. I’m not talking about abusive situations. Those are soul-damaging and you have to work hard to get past them. I’m talking about a perfect stranger’s cutting words causing you sleepless nights. I’m talking about your neighbor’s fancy new car that you wanted stressing you out because you can’t pay your bills right now. I’m talking about that someone who wanted to help you improve but offered you constructive criticism and the way you reacted to them.

Yet, peaceful souls have been responsible for so much good. Ghandi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., all were troubled about the state of the world, but they used their peaceful souls to help make a difference, putting aside their egos for the good of others. The difference is huge: they responded to criticism, negativity, hurt and hate, instead of reacting.

Get the difference? Your ego reacts, your soul responds. You take time to internalize what was said and the best course of action that will be for the best with the least negative consequences, and you respond in kind.

In the end, only kindness matters.

So think about this when you go out into your interactions today, tomorrow, forever. Is your stress, hurt feelings, anger, or other negative emotion due to damage to your soul or your ego? The only one that matters is the damage to your soul, and only you can really do that or let that happen.

Let your ego go, and watch your stress go out the window with it. Respond instead of reacting. Give it a try, like I did with the self-help woo woo stuff I didn’t believe in for so long. You just don’t know if there may actually be something to it until you do it.

Drop me a line at www.beautifullymadelife.net and let me know when you differentiated between your ego and your soul and if it made a difference in the outcome. You may just inspire me, too!

About Amanda:
Amanda lives with her family, two dogs, and three cats in the middle of Florida in a town where you have to drive two hours to do anything fun. Instead of daily excitement, she writes creatively for enjoyment and non-fiction to pay the bills. To make up for living in the middle of nowhere, she travels a lot. You can find out about her travels through her inspirational, motivational, and empowering blog, Beautifully Made Life, and follow her on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest.

Twitter: BeautifullyMadeLife @CannadyAmanda

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/beautifullymadelife.net

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beautifullymadelife/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/beautifullymadelife/

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Own. Occupy. Accept.

OWN. OCCUPY. ACCEPT.

OWN

Own the body you have right now, just as it is. Without relaxing into the body you currently occupy, life is filled with dissatisfaction and unhappiness. Why? Because if we can’t truly love and accept ourselves for who we are, then attempting to find external happiness, or chasing a happiness that will occur once we have a “goal body”, is futile.

OCCUPY

Occupying your body means living embodied. Living in your body. So often we find that we’ve just existed, that we’ve filled our life with distractions of diets or exercise regimens. When is the last time you just sat with your body? When is the last time you looked in the mirror and spoke words of kindness to yourself? Making the choice to occupy your body tells your body that you are here, you are present. Choosing to occupy the body is a massive step in healing your relationship with food and your body.

ACCEPT

Acceptance is a celebration of living life in this very moment, with the body that has gotten you this far! Acceptance is honoring your past bodily incarnations, loving your current body, and sending gratitude to your future self for all of the adventures you will take with that body.

Accept that you were put on this Earth to be more than a body. Accept life free from diets and restriction and shame. Accept it because you deserve it.

The light in me honors the light in you.

A Beginner’s Guide To Journaling

As we head into a new year, we may begin to think of new habits we’d like to begin or put into practice. It seems this time of year motivates me to look at my current habits and examine what I may want to cut down on, and what I may want to invest more time doing. I’ve reflected and realized that I’d like to cut down on my social media time and invest more time reading. 

Years ago I began intentionally journaling more frequently in an attempt to help process thoughts and emotions. This eventually became a habit that I truly enjoy and I use journaling as a regular practice as well as a tool I utilize when I’m struggling with something in particular. I find that once I put pen to paper, my inner wisdom is able to come out and guide me in the direction I am supposed to go.

If you’re interested in starting a regular journaling practice it may seem overwhelming at first. Journaling does not have to be a taunting task- many times I simply start writing anything and everything that’s in my head. No judgments on what I’m writing is allowed- I simply write until I feel the desire to stop. However, if you would prefer some direction, here are some prompts to assist in starting some of your very own journaling entries!

I am grateful for…

I admire the following 3 people because…

My body taught me today….

I wish someone would tell me….

Lessons I’ve learned recently have been…

What I would like to say “no” to more…

What I would like to say “yes” to more…

If I could tell my younger self something, I would tell him/her….


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Photo by Kaboompics .com from Pexels

Do you have a regular journaling practice? I’d love to hear what strategies have worked for you!


The light in me honors the light in you.

Living with Intention Series

I’m excited to announce that Good Vibes Tribe Cincinnati, a community outreach program designed to heal negative  body image through the power of yoga and community, will be hosting a mindful eating series in January at Haven yoga studio in Middletown, OH. You can check out more details of the series here or here.

I’m the co-founder and co-facilitator of Good Vibes Tribe Cincinnati, and have seen firsthand the power of a group of individuals coming together to heal their relationship with food and their body.

In 2019, let’s chose intention over resolution.  Join our Tribe for a four week series designed to empower each participant with a greater understanding of their own unique body, how it communicates, & how it is asking to be nourished.
Through the practice of mindfulness, we will explore the body’s innate wisdom, using intuition, cravings, emotions, & physical sensation as our guides to restoring relationships with food & body image.
This year, ditch the diets & let your body be your guide.  We will be meeting Wednesday evenings 7-8:30pm, January 2-January 23.

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Photo by Nicole Honeywill on Unsplash

Here is some of the feedback we’ve received from surveys after our past workshops:

“facilitators were honest & open, creating an environment where participants felt comfortable being vulnerable”

“this workshop was so much more than I even knew I needed”

“facilitators are EXTREMELY knowledgeable & incredibly supportive”

“thought provoking, healing, & encouraging… amazing experience… thank you!”

 

If you’re in the Cincinnati area, I hope to see you in January! Please send me any questions or concerns you may have. Let’s make 2019 a year of healing and empowerment!

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Photo by Tessa Rampersad on Unsplash

The light in me honors the light in you.

Tips For Great Sleep

Sleep can be elusive for some. At various seasons of life sleep may be more difficult to come by, and for some of us (myself included), difficulty falling and staying asleep can become a chronic issue. With the holiday season in full swing, staying healthy is of utmost importance.  The seasonal ickiness has officially descended, and when you combine that with all of our holiday celebrations and obligations, it’s all the more important to focus on rest.

Sleep is imperative to functioning to the best of our abilities during the day. Beyond affecting our daily grinds, lack of sleep can also have detrimental affects on our health. Chronic sleep deprivation increases the prevalence of heart disease, hypertension, type 2 diabetes, obesity, and depression. Here are a few ways in which we can increase the quality and quantity of sleep.

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Photo by Benjaminrobyn Jespersen on Unsplash

1. Shut down, literally.

Turning off or setting aside the electronics at least two hours before bedtime will impact your ability to fall asleep as well as the quality of your sleep. Blue wavelengths benefit us greatly during the day by increasing our attention, reaction times, and brightening our mood. However, these are not qualities we want when we’re trying to settle in for a great night’s sleep. Try slowly shutting down earlier and earlier in the evening and observe how your sleep is impacted.

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Photo by Joanna Kosinska on Unsplash

2. Establish a routine.

Establishing a nighttime routine will signal to your mind and body that it’s time to wind down. This could include a routine as simple as reading a few pages in a book or perhaps enjoying a warm beverage like a decaffeinated tea or my favorite Cinnamon Pumpkin Warm Milk.

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Photo by Heather Schwartz on Unsplash

3. Utilize Natural Resources.

If you’re having difficulty getting to sleep and staying asleep, there are a few all natural resources to utilize. Some of these include CBD oil (my favorite can be found here), Melatonin, Lavender essential oil (can find this here), and listening to recorded meditations.

I use CBD oil almost every night to keep my anxiety from creeping up and keeping me alert when I want to rest. Ensure you do your homework and find a high quality CBD oil to take advantage of it’s many benefits.  I also love to rub some lavender essential oil on my pillow or temples, and you could also diffuse it, put some drops of it in a bath, or create a bedtime room spray.  Taking some deep breaths of this soothing scent tells my nervous system it’s time for bed.

I pull out the Melatonin when I just can’t sleep and nothing else has worked. There are different dosages of Melatonin so keep that in mind when selecting this supplement. I recommend starting at a low dose, or even taking half a pill and then working up from there as needed.

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Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

4. Move your body.

Moving your body regularly, whether it’s vigorous exercise or a walk in nature will help utilize energy during the day so your body can completely let go when it’s time to hit the hay.

I find when my body has been stagnant during the day it’s more difficult for my body to relax, as it has energy to burn. The key is to listen to your body and honor what it is telling you. Also keep in mind that body movement does not mean working up a sweat. Many times an extended stretching session on my living room floor is enough to give my body what it needs for the day.

 

Finding what works can be a fun experiment, and will also change depending upon life events, time of year, and more. By ensuring we are getting enough sleep, we are taking a major step in improving our overall health. Sweet dreams!

 

The light in me honors the light in you. 

Embracing The Holidays

With Thanksgiving a week away and the holidays in full swing, this is also prime time for diet talk, juice cleanses, low carb diets, and fasting to dominate social media feeds, television and radio commercials, and our general discussion amongst friends and family.

This time of year and it’s diet-obsessed energy always kicks my messaging into high gear, because I know what it’s like. I know what it’s like to be terrified of the food that will be before me that day, and the day before, and the day after. I know what it’s like to feel weak, like a failure because my willpower failed me once again. If you are feeling anxious about being around family and friends this holiday season, if you’re feeling anxious about this body you inhabit, and the food you may or may not be consuming- I see you and I hear you.

I also know that you deserve so much more than the experiences described above. You deserve to feel empowered in your body and around food. You deserve to be able to be around food- any type of food- and be relaxed. And you deserve to set healthy boundaries.

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Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

I’ve listed a few simple tips below that may be helpful to keep in mind over the next couple of months.

1. Identify & Acknowledge Triggers

If we don’t identify and acknowledge what is triggering our feelings of depression, anxiety, or perhaps body shaming during this time of year (or any time of year!), we won’t be able to heal it.

This is a difficult journey because we have to come face to face with the deeper reasoning behind these feelings. However, once we get to this place, the healing can begin. You may know right away what may trigger emotions this time of year. If you do- excellent! If you aren’t aware of underlying emotions or triggers, journaling is a great way to identify and acknowledge. Simply put pen to paper and write about feelings or thoughts that have been arising for you lately. Don’t stop to analyze what you’re writing, just keep writing for 3-5 minutes. You could also ask trusted friends or family and they may be able to provide you with some insight.

Identifying and acknowledging is an amazing first step. Once we identify and acknowledge, we can start to pay attention to our feelings and emotions as they arise. At first we may only recognize them after the fact. This is fine- still acknowledge and sit with that feeling. Identify it- give it a name. Then perhaps you will be able to identify these feelings in the midst of the trigger, and maybe you’ll then be able to notice when they may occur before the trigger happens. Also keep in mind, you may never reach this point and that is ok! The power lies in identifying and acknowledging, not preventing the feeling from occurring.

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2. Set Boundaries

As the incredible Brene Brown says “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others.” Wow, how powerful is that?!

If you find yourself at a place where you’ve had or attempted to have healthy discussions about your feelings and the environment remains toxic, it may be time to set some boundaries.

Setting boundaries is choice we make to no longer expose ourselves to an environment that is harmful or toxic. They exist to give us permission to establish or maintain our mental health.

The concept of boundaries often comes up around the holidays because much of the anxiety that is felt this time of year is related to being around family members that we may only be exposed to during this season.  Further, many of us are taught to suck it up, to tolerate it in the moment, only to walk away feeling shame, pain, resentment for the remainder of the year until it happens all over again. Yes, there may be some anger or pain in response to boundaries being set, but this time the energy of this response will be different- because you will be different. When healthy boundaries are set, you will be treated differently because you have established your value.

Even if this means no longer participating in the family’s traditional holiday celebrations, you have freed yourself of a toxic environment and can move forward in your new boundary-setting journey!

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Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

3. Eat Food

Yes, most of us are surrounded by and consume more food than we normally do on holidays like Thanksgiving. Sometimes we also have parties to attend with friends, events at work in which food is catered or provided by your fellow co-workers. Simply being around food and consuming food does not mean anything about you as a person. Not eating some food does not inherently make you better than others, and eating large quantities of food does not inherently make you less than anyone else.

Diet culture kicks into high gear around the holidays. I’m always amazed with the advertising of the average number of calories that are consumed on Thanksgiving. Just think about that- what is the purpose of this discussion? Does it change what you chose to consume that day, or does it only serve to make you feel worthless while doing so? On a day that is meant to stir feelings of gratitude for all that we have in this life, many of us expend that precious time and energy berating ourselves for what we’re putting in our bodies on one day. I also discuss how dangerous it is to label foods as “good” and “bad” here, and this is very apparent around the holidays.

Maybe this year instead of focusing on the food, take some deep breaths and look around. Look at the faces of your loved ones around the space. Feel your body and send gratitude towards it for keeping you here one more year. List some things you are grateful for, in that moment. And then eat.

 

The light in me honors the light in you.

Nourishment

The concept of nourishment has been on my mind and heart lately.  Perhaps it’s related to the changing seasons, and looking towards the holiday season in which food is such a centerpiece.

As you may be able to relate, the holidays can be times of so much joy and love, while also being times of stress and anxiety. The holiday season and large gatherings involving food still increases my anxiety and brings back memories of the eating disorder and all that those years of my life entailed. During those years, the concept of nourishment was foreign to me. However, as my relationship with food and my body has healed, I am seeking more nourishment in my food, my relationships, my life in general.

The concept of nourishment is a complex one, but one worth exploring. I love the word itself- it’s so complex and there are so many layers to it. Nourishment includes not only food and water, but also the quality of our relationships with friends, family, nature, and more. To be nourished means being fully present. If we’re rushing through meals, conversations, and life in general, can we say our life has a nourishing quality?

Utilizing the following prompts may also help in examining the amount of nourishment in your life:

  • What makes you feel good? How often do you engage in this?
  • When do you feel nourished by food? What circumstances would make your meal a more nourishing experience overall?
  • Perform a nourishment inventory.Examine the following parts of your life and how nourishing they are. These can include the following:
    • people
    • places
    • thoughts
    • feelings
    • substances

 

The concept of nourishment has challenged me to take a look at areas of my life that lack nourishment, and what actions I can take to improve the quality of these experiences. For me this often includes slowing down and being present during meals, and being more mindful of actively listening when I’m with friends.

What do you think of when you think of nourishment? I’d love to hear how this concept resonates with you!

 

The light in me honors the light in you.

Cinnamon Pumpkin Warm Milk

The cooler temperatures have finally arrived and it looks like they’re here to stay!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am currently on a healing journey after being diagnosed with Dyshidrotic eczema. On this healing journey, I’ve been examining the foods I eat and have been going back to basics. I feel my body is needing a massive reset due to the amount of inflammation it has been experiencing. Reducing this inflammation and preventing future flare-ups involves keeping things simple- my food, my commitments, my life in general. I am honoring my body and giving it what it is requesting of me.

Throughout this journey I will be sharing recipes, successes, and lessons with you! I have enjoyed playing with new recipes and finding so much pleasure in returning to basic foods. It’s amazing how quickly our sense of taste can change when we allow it to by integrating new foods into our diet.

I have felt called to utilize some Ayurvedic recipes to heal my body.  One recipe that I’ve really been loving is a warm pumpkin beverage that is based on Ayurvedic medicine. I can do another post devoted entirely to Ayurveda, but in general, Ayurveda is one of the world’s oldest and most sophisticated mind-body healing systems, originating from sages in India. Ayurveda is much more than the food you put in your body, but food is extremely important in how our mind, body, and spirit are balanced and connected.

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I have this warm milk beverage at the end of the evening, before bed. The combination of the pumpkin puree, cinnamon, and warmth are the perfect signal to my body that it’s time to rest and prepare to sleep. I have been struggling with difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep for several months now and this beverage has allowed me to sleep without any medication.

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SERVES 1

Ingredients:

1 1/4 cups milk of choice (I am a non-dairy consumer so I chose almond or coconut milk)
2 tbsp pumpkin puree
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tbsp fresh ginger, finely grated (about 1/2 inch piece of fresh ginger)
1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1 tbsp coconut sugar (add more or less according to your desired sweetness)
1 tbsp coconut oil (optional)

Instructions:

  1. In small saucepan, combine all ingredients except coconut sugar. Bring to a simmer over medium heat. Simmer for 5 minutes, whisking occasionally, until completely heated.
  2. Optional: Froth with an electric frother.
  3. Pour contents into mug. Add coconut sugar for desired sweetness. Sprinkle with cinnamon. Drink warm.

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I find that the amount of coconut sugar my body craves is different each day so I save that step until the end. This is a lovely ritual to close each day. Do you have rituals to end each day? I’d love to hear them!

I look forward to sharing many more stories and recipes with you as the end of 2018 approaches! Let me know what you think of this recipe as well- I’d love your feedback!

 

The light in me honors the light in you.

A New Adventure!

I’m so excited to announce that I’ve been accepted to the Institute for the Psychology of Eating’s Psychology of Eating Coaching Program! I will begin this new adventure in October and I’m counting the days!

I knew that an empowering coaching program was in my future, but finding a program that was the right fit for me was not an easy process. I spent hours upon hours researching coaching programs. I knew I couldn’t enroll in a program that trained me to provide meal plans to clients, as that strategy doesn’t align with my values and mission to empower individuals to get in touch with their intuition and learn the origin of their cravings.

Providing someone with a meal plan does not empower them- it simply tells them exactly what to feed themselves. My goal is to find the root of an individual’s cravings- to help people trust their body again, honor the body’s cravings, and learn to eat when hungry and stop when satisfied. Unfortunately, programs that empower individuals in this way are few and far between.

Once I discovered the Psychology of Eating coaching program at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, I knew I had found a program that aligned with my philosophy of empowerment.

In less than a year I will be a certified Mind, Body, Eating Coach and I couldn’t be more excited. The last couple of years have been guiding me to this program and have solidified my life’s purpose to empower individuals to heal their relationship with food and with their bodies. I will be utilizing yoga, meditation, Vedic Yoga Thai Bodywork, essential oils, and eating psychology to tap into the incredibly powerful intuition we all have within us.

I can’t wait to continue to update you with my progress, and to announce when I will begin to accept clients!

The light in me honors the light in you.

doTERRA

Throughout my healing journey, I’ve experienced the firsthand benefits of yoga, meditation, Reiki, Vedic Yoga Thai Bodywork, and more. However essential oils weren’t included in that path until recently.

One of my mentors utilizes doTERRA essential oils within AromaTouch therapy. She also incorporates it into her Reiki practice, and has been working her healing techniques on me. As with most new experiences, I was skeptical at first, thinking there would be a placebo effect at play during these sessions.

After going over my initial symptoms, including digestive issues and general anxiety, she performed her healing modalities and then sent me home with samples of essential oils, with instructions of how to utilize them until our next appointment. I started by implementing Frankincense and then incorporated Cedarwood as well. Within days I noticed improvements of my digestive issues, and then started to notice how these essential oils have uplifted my mood and general anxiety. I knew I wanted to dive into this healing modality more deeply.

Since I have personally experienced the benefits of these essential oils I have been pouring over literature about the science of essential oils, the various essential oil companies, origins of essential oils, the list goes on and on. I contacted my mentor to purchase the large sizes of oils and we also discussed me joining her doTERRA team. I wasn’t sure I was ready to take that leap yet (as a Taurus, I have to examine all perspectives and angles before making a final decision!). However after meditating on this further, I knew this was a company and a healing modality that I need to be a part of so we went for it!

My first order came today, in which I received my first essential oil diffuser, among other fun items. I cannot say enough amazing things about the peaceful sound, the soothing aroma of the oil I selected to diffuse, and the soft lighting that the diffuser offers. I feel strongly that essential oils have not been a part of my healing journey until now because I wasn’t ready to commit to the extensive learning involved in this endeavor, but now I am diving in completely.

I can’t wait to share more of this journey with all of you. Right now I am using this new role as a way to increase my education and will then begin to spread that knowledge with others, to empower them in their own healing journeys! If you have any questions, tips or more, please reach out!

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The light in me honors the light in you.